Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Feeling so alone in this


Its not just being without a job, its the searching of a job that is so frustrating and hard to deal with. The unknown. Will it be like this for a year again. Sigh. Wish I didnt have my bills to deal with. Its all my fault I guess. Hope God will bless me soon.  Im running out of energy.



Tuesday, April 24, 2018

OMG what a joke!!!!


I was at the job coach meeting and , I cant believe how useless it was. Just a joke?! The groupmeeting was about what kind of different personalities you can have or your co worker is or boss.... And why do you need to work and what other aspects a work is good and not good for you... LMAO...WTF?? That will help me get a job. evaluate my personality???? They gotta be kidding me.  Im stuck going there twice a week. Til I get a job.. OHH LORD! I really thought they were a little serious. This will be going on for 2 months... Theyre like Oh we want to get to know you  what jobs you can be capable of doing before it all begins. I dont need that , Psshhh . Well 2 months is a long time before you can really help...Guess its all up to me. Yet again. 😄Suprise i am not.

Monday, April 23, 2018

Did the diabetes Study esperiment today



I got some bruises on my stomach but it doesnt hurt too bad. Listening to some music and singing along. Trying to not too think about  the stuff that stresses me out. Shut up brain. 😆😆

This is how my stomach looks like right now😮



Sunday, April 22, 2018

How to stop worrying about money



right now i am super worried abt how I will manage to survive til I get a job. I will be able to pay my bills but I wont have anything or almsot nothing left for food and busrides.... FUCK!!! 😩😣😢
Do you recognise that?

 Read This , An article about stress about money




Saturday, April 21, 2018

I wish you wasnt in there



I wish you were here with me. Ugh its not fair!!!!  I envy all of the couples I see at times. Even as simple as going to the store makes me like , I wish I could do that  with you.


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Spring pictures i took






Trying to make a little extra money



Well I wont get anything left after my bills are paid til I get a job. So that means I gotta make some extra money. I have put up some ads on swedish version of ebay. Its like people except everything to be super cheap. I mean come on!? Cant sell everything for nothing just because its on there...pfff cheap bastards..

I put 10 bucks on gamble site. its mostly bingo. I found a slot machine i fell in love with. I did win like 100 bucks back! right now i have used the other 100. I might put some money back in there again... No wonder ppl do this. Its pretty fun too. 😄 I wont gamble all my money away. That wont happen, 😏

You know what? I dont like going to a normal job. If I could I would try to make money all on my own. Be my own boss. Is it possible?? nowadays???

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Blob blob blob today




Feel like a giant blob , A big potato today. I dont think i can eat today. Matter of fact. I think im not even hungry?? Thats a weird word to say. Im always hungry. Plus my mom is "trying" to help me. Motivate me. She just keep reminding me im fat. Makes me feel alooot worse. 😪 Got no plans for today. Maybe I will go outside.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Today has been lousy as fuck




Just as grey as the weather has been thats how my mood has been today. Grey. Empty, Sad, Alone
My man called last night but he always calls so late. like around 11.30ish pm and 12.30 Am. Doesnt he know I sleep at that time??  Ugh. And he just talks about money most of the time.... Its just started to annoy me. But maybe he is going through it too. Who knows? 😕😪😩😭